Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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