You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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