nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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