Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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