considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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