my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize