You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
