Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm too high and old for this...
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