We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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