I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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