in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
