I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
