I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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