Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
