She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
