A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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