He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
