PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
