last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
