thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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