That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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