I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
me + whiskey = a bad person
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
