It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
