It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize