Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
