her vagine was all disorganized.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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