I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
