the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
