Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
