butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
