I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
