My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize