Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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