Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
