Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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