please come you make the beer taste better
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
