Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
