I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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