Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
