Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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