just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
