Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize