how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
