from now on my penis is your penis
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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