cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
