party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
