i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
