this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
