I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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