i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
