She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
