he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
