Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Boobs are out for the taking
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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