Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize