I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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