Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
