You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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