No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so let's talk penis.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i think my cat just said my name.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
