Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
