Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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