i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
