i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish I only lived at night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
