but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
